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Writer's pictureMerrick Wells

Christmas Tinner!

Updated: Nov 26, 2020


The clickbait festive story that keeps repeating like your Granny's sprouts...

GAME, the British high street computer game retailer, proudly announced the perfect food provisions for their console crazy customers who would be unable to tear themselves away from their new presents on Christmas day. A horrendous complete Christmas menu in a can.

Attracting horrified clickbait writers across the internet every Christmas. Aghast online writers putting together 800 words of outrage at the death of culinary integrity, listing the various layers of this food nightmare which would almost certainly be a firm favourite with Preppers stocking their survival cellars for yule time celebrations in the post-apocalyptic meltdown.

The Christmas Tinner boasts the complete Christmas day menu, starting with scrambled egg and bacon for breakfast. (In my family our Christmas breakfast was crusty rolls and marmalade although I enjoy smoked salmon blinis just as much)

Your mid-morning snack is provided for with a layer of mince pies before you are treated to your full traditional British Christmas dinner. Despite the persistent belief that turkey became the staple meat of the British Christmas dinner only very recently as a way for US producers to shift Thanksgiving stock, Turkey has been one of the most popular choices as far back as the sixteenth century.

The final layer is of Christmas pudding. A very longstanding traditional dish in Britain, a rich fruit pudding, soaked in alcohol.

This layered tin of unholy horror was available on the GAME website, when launched in 2013 but was listed as "sold out" and the retailer recommended people tried again in 2014. It is unclear whether the product was real or a very enjoyable and efficient marketing hoax. There is just the one review of the can on the internet, and yes, we see a man unloading a layered can of food onto a plate and it looks like the product pictured.

The fact that such a product can be believed in, because people expect gamers to be glued to their consoles all through Christmas day, unprepared to detach themselves to sit around the table and share a meal with their family, possibly the most significant family meal of the year, perhaps says more about what we think of the state of western society than the widely held belief that the British have a tortured relationship with food.


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